Vijay S Paul - Page 10 of 26 - Melbourne Blogger, Storyteller, Communication Professional

Top 10 Reasons Why Valentines Day Actually Sucks

February 14, 2014 by vijayspaul·4 Comments

My heartfelt condolences to all guys who went out Valentine Shopping this week. Congrats mate! 79.56% of you spent your/your parents money on someone you wouldn’t even be in contact with, this time next year.

The single people – Congrats to you too! You’ll be spending this day, like the same way you do the rest of the year – with peace of mind.

The “recently single people” – Booze up man. You should be freaking celebrating! Start singing “Roses are red, Violets are blue. I am so happy, since I got rid of you”.

Married martyrs – Amen.

So, it’s that day of the year again when the environment has an overdose of roses, greeting cards, teddy bears, chocolates and beer. The last one, purely for the unbound ones.

I tried my best smelling the air around, but other than the wonderful smell Kochi Corporation had to offer, I couldn’t find the so called “Love-in-the-air”. Maybe it has something to do with the cold I had last month.

Valentine’s Day, similar to Akshaya Tritiya, am sure has been brought up by marketers to increase sales. It’s a marketing gimmick and everyone’s fallen into it. Chocolates and roses have turned out to be the Holy Grail thanks to these businessmen.

Since I have no night calls to attend to and no 50-word-a-minute responses to give back on Whatsapp, I took my time analyzing the details on why Valentines Day actually sucks.

Here are the top 10 reasons –

1. The one sided pressure on the guys is huge

Ever seen a girl losing her peace of mind and pulling her hair out, thinking what to gift her BF for Valentine? No? Neither has anyone. It’s always the guys who have the herculean task of making sure they can read the mind of their GF and come up with the right ingredient of gifts to give her on this fateful day. And no matter what, they can never get it right. All the permutations and combinations never seem to work out in this case.

2. Beggar Mode – Starts on Feb 15

With all their year’s savings spent on the gigantic Teddy she so wanted, along with the tasteless candlelit dinner in the 4 star hotel, the guys literally hit the roads from Feb 15th. The next few weeks are spent thriving on water and on interest free loan from their single friends, who all of a sudden look like millionaires.

3. No one even has a clue why we celebrate Valentine’s Day

You give me any other day of the year and I’ll give you a reason why it’s celebrated. But Valentine’s Day? What did Saint Valentine do? What about it being the anniversary of a massacre? I presume even Lord Almighty wouldn’t be able to answer this one correctly.

4. All those idiotic Social Media contests

Blech. Don’t even get me started on this. From E-Commerce websites to Mobile Operators to Banks, everyone starts off with their useless hashtag and starts spamming the timelines of anyone and everyone. And when you have had enough of it on Twitter, turn to Facebook and you see zillions of Ads and sponsored posts on “Gift your Valentine this…. Gift your Valentine that..”. And if its not gifting, it’ll be “Post your pic with your Valentine” contest.

No…. Please no. Not anymore of those duck faces again.

5. It’s as if being single is a crime

I don’t have Jesus hanging out with me on Christmas, or Gandhiji playing snooker with me on Oct 2nd. Neither do I have children on Children’s Day. Then what kind of freaking logic is it that I should have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day?

And if all the single guys decide to hang out together, immediately you’re labelled a loser. Plus, having to suffer seeing the couples snuggle in the Movie Theaters and roam the Malls, tagging along each other as if its Kumbh Mela and they’ll get lost.

6. Your Exes are already committed. And so is your best friend.

Oh man. This has been voted as the number 1 and number 2 reason, respectively, for cause of depression among single guys on Feb 14th.

While on one side you’d be celebrating freedom, through the corner of your eye you’ll see your Ex laughing away with someone else. Back rushes all the history and flashbacks with a slow violin playing in the background. And whilst the new hero feeds her a spoonful of chocolate Ice Cream, you start cursing the guy on how less good looking he is than you. But, he has scored the goal, while you’re out of the match with a red card.

If you happen to be the rare one with all his friends committed, just sleep over the day. Sleep until the day passes. Imagine this day never happened.

Atleast its a better scenario than your best friend hanging out with your Ex!

7. You can’t even watch TV

This part I truly hate. No matter which channel you tune on this day, all it’ll have is red hearts and romantic songs. Forget entertainment channels. News Channels would be airing interviews with couples, while sports channels would be running between the wickets to get Sachin’s wife to elaborate on their love story. At times like these, only Cartoon Network doesn’t disappoint.

8. Listening to your friend’s Valentines Day antics

As if not being able to watch TV wasn’t bad enough, late evening your friend drops in with a 110W smile on his face. Then whole night you have to listen to his story of how he poured two sachets of sugar into her cup of coffee and how she rotated the spoon in a clockwise manner and how he found the scenario to be very romantic. And while you muster up all the courage to control the feelings of strangling him because he’s paying the room rent each month, for the sake of friendship you sit and listen to the whole story.

And people still think Valentines Day is more important than Friendship Day. Hhmph.

9. Cupid is a stupid mascot

A man baby in a diaper with bows and arrows? From which angle does it invoke feelings of romance or love? Creepy is the word if you ask me.

10. It renders the other 364 days useless

Even if a guy gifts a girl 728 gifts across the year and says he loves her a kazillion times, but he doesn’t do this on Feb 14th no matter what the reason, its a crime. Atleast that’s what he’s made to feel.

At that particular moment of time, Lakshmi turns to Durga and it’s a confirmed case of painful death for the guy. God bless his soul.

People, don’t get me wrong with this post. I seriously do not mean to hurt the sentiments of any guy/girl with this. Your partner is doing a good enough job of it already!

– Vijay S Paul

Image Courtesy - memegenerator.net, frabz.com, whicdn.com, twimg.com

The Social Unsocial Experiment

February 11, 2014 by vijayspaul·27 Comments

“Sanity is a madness put to good use.” – George Santayana

10 years of Facebook. 5 years of me being on it. 3 years of it being the source of my bread and butter. And I quit.

There are times when a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. Without compulsions, without inhibitions, without temptations. In certain moments, trying to prove yourself to be different from others is more important for you, than showing off to the rest of the globe. One needs a reality check to gather his senses and to ensure himself that he’s not a slave. Neither of the society, nor of the technology he has adapted to. It’s not a stunt. Rather, a necessity.

It’s been close to 3 years since I have started working in the field of Social Media Marketing. Presently, my average Facebook activity for a day includes a total of 7 hours being online, 50-60 notifications, 5 friend requests, 3 game requests, 5 app requests, 0.3 status updates, stalking of 2-3 profiles and analysis of insights for client’s pages.

I have no addictions, if I say so myself. And when I started doubting that very statement, decided to go ahead with The Social Unsocial Experiment.

The Social Unsocial Experiment

Truth be said, it’s not much of a big deal. One guy working in the Social and Digital Media field, who makes a living off it, will be discarding Facebook for a span of 21 days (15 Feb-07 March 2014).

The guy – Me.

Why?

Its an experiment. An experiment to analyse the behavioral feedback of not being continuously connected to your friend circles. To understand whether the absence of information from my “friends” lives makes a difference to me, and in the process, learn what percentage of it is pure crap that’s wasting time and Hard Disk space from my brain. An experiment to examine whether my overall work productivity increases in this period. An experiment to prove, that there is more to life than notifications and “likes”.

So Why Make A Big Deal Out Of It?

Ask a professional football player to play football without his boots. Not impossible, but difficult. Same is the case here. Getting off Facebook might not be a big deal for all. But for me, for a professional working in that very field, it’s difficult. And that’s the beauty of it. Who wants to do things that are easy and predictable?

What About Client’s Facebook Pages?

All delegated to the staff and in good hands.

How To Get In Touch In The Meantime?

Heard about eMail? Twitter? Phone? I’ll be there.

What Plans In The Meantime?

Uh… In case no one knew, I have a life. Work to do. Plan to work with lesser distraction, get work completed pre-schedule and blog more. And if time still permits, start thinking about the book I have wanted to write for so long.

Do You Think Anyone Will Miss You?

I hope not. Am leaving Facebook. Not the world.

Well….. Maybe except those lovely people who keep tagging me in pics and keep sending me Candy Crush requests.

Why 21 days?

I like the number 21.

Why 15 February?

Like all single good looking lads my age, I still dwell in the hope that on Feb 14 I’ll receive an anonymous message/friend request. Just letting that hope live through this year too.

– Vijay S Paul

17 Tips On How To Screw-Up Your GD and Interview

January 23, 2014 by vijayspaul·10 Comments

First interviews can be scary. I know it. Been more than 3 years since I attended my first Job Interview and hilariously failed*.

Luckily, this time I was to be on the other side of the table – the interviewer.

On 19th Jan 2014, I had the opportunity to visit SCT Collge of Engineering Trivandrum, as the Consultant for Grey Technolabs‘ Placement Drive in the venue. I was requested to handle the analysis of the Group Discussion (GD) Round for the applicants and the HR Interview for the finalists.

Having conducted loads of interviews for my firm and for DayScholars Innovations, I can easily say am not a newbie in this, but all the same I ain’t an expert either. Let’s keep it medieval by saying I have my share of experience to be able to make justified decisions.

So, at the end of the day, with analysis of 57 applicants via GD and 23 one-to-one HR Round interviews under my belt, have to agree…. I was brain fried! I do not mean to undermine anyone or any individual’s talent, but the sheer ego and easy-go attitude of certain applicants just wrinkled my brain out.

And that’s exactly where I felt the need for this blog post to arise. One to one, I saw some of the common mistakes the students did while in the GD and/or in the interview. Some of it might seem pretty trivial. But if that’s all the importance you give to your job interview, God save you. No, it’s not the end of the world, but yes, it can be the reason you’re shown the door.

Certain points to keep in mind –

Group Discussion (GD)

Being proactive is good. But don’t let it be at the expense of absolutely shutting up others. Do not be domineering.
Never ever go for personal attacks on someone else, whose points you do not agree with.
Do not whisper with the person on your side. It’s a GD, not a Chinese Whisper game.
Stop staring so publicly at the girl sitting opposite to you. Yes, she maybe good looking. But then no, you’re not getting the job.
Control your anger even if someone pinpoints personal attacks on you. Their chances of advancing are history. Don’t let yours go down the drain too.

Do not behave like Manmohan Singh and sit quietly. You won’t be given the nod of approval.
Speak up only if you have a valid point to share. Don’t just say “I agree with my friend over here…” and iterate the exact same thing he/she said.
If you’re the first person to speak up, make sure you start off with the strongest of points. Bonus marks to you.
If you have absolutely no idea about the topic, wait till quite a few points have been shared. Then based on them and the power of your intelligence, come out with a point that makes sense. Do not utter blunder. The people evaluating you are smart.
Don’t just stare at the face of the moderator. Look square into the eyes of each and every person sitting there, while talking.

Interview

You might be nervous as hell. Everyone is. But ensure you’re not shivering uncontrollably when sitting across the table with the interviewer.
Make sure your phone is switched off or not with you at the moment. 5 min of not Whatsapp’ing your GF/BF isn’t going to cost you the relation. But your phone ringing or even worse, you messaging during the interview, is something you should be sent to jail for.
Do not consider the people at the interview panel as fools. Unless you’re CEO of a Million Dollar company who’s attending the interview just to have fun, don’t blabber out tell-tales or lies. No matter how good a liar you might be, at some point of time, you’ll be caught.

Be conscious of your body language – that means, no slacking on the chair, no nervous tapping of your feet and no playing with the cap of your pen.
Maintain eye-contact with the interviewer you’re talking to. Displays confidence.
The interviewer is there to analyse whether you’re the right person for the job. They’re not there to listen to your sorry story and feel sympathetic to you. Don’t get emotional and plead that “I need this job”. You’ll just be ensuring your exit from the opportunity for the vacancy.
For heaven’s sake, don’t ask the interviewer whether he/she’s committed/married 😐

Every single point I have mentioned here, is from that single day of experience. There were also a whole bunch of students who thoroughly impressed me. Yes, I understand students might not have experience attending interviews. But most of the mistakes mentioned above are just due to pure lack of common sense. It’s not rocket science.

Though there were moments when I actually thought learning Rocket Science would be easier than digging up Common Sense from an empty hole.

*P.S. For those loving people who have doubts on whether I have any right to write this article after failing my first Job Interview, I passed the GD, Aptitude and HR Interview for the first one. Failed for the technical interview. For the second Job Interview, cleared 3 rounds of HR Interview, 1 round of Technical Interview, 1 round of Psychological Test and 1 round of Language Test. In the end decided not to accept the Job Offer. A week later, started IZE Creative.

-Vijay S Paul

Image Courtesy : imgur.com, keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk, glasbergen.com

When My Staff Bought a Royal Enfield – A Tale of Entrepreneurial Inspiration

January 11, 2014 by vijayspaul·18 Comments

I don’t usually go into writing personal stuff on this blog of mine. Intend to restrict it to Social Media, Entrepreneurship and anything else pretty noteworthy, other than the politics induced nonsense going around.

Thought of breaking that rule for a change.

Being an entrepreneur, and obviously not the best one yet at that, has its own plethora of experiences. Making loads of mistakes, going broke, trying to make ends meet, saving every penny possible, trying to steer the company in the right direction…. the list goes on. Amongst all these, there are the little things which give you immense joy. Need not be a million dollar deal. Sometimes it’s as simple as a thank you gift or job well done from the client.

Similarly is the case when you see your staff and team-mates going up the career ladder and/or reaching a milestone.

My Design Head at IZE Creative and one of our first employee, Rithin, recently bought a Royal Enfield Bullet 350. Now, people buying bikes is good. But when your staff buys a bike with his savings, coupled with the salary you’re paying him…. those are the little things which give you immense happiness. Those instances make you feel worthy. Worthy of being an entrepreneur.

I wouldn’t be lying if I say I was happier than him the day that Bullet rode into our office porch. The source of his smile became the source of my joy.

And that made me realize. Maybe that’s what entrepreneurship is all about. It’s the whole journey, the little joys. Not just in your life, but also in the lives you touch. Forget being broke. Forget not being able to buy a 39k iPhone. Forget not being the richest person in the world. Building something on your own is not just about the end product. It’s a whole lot about the experience. The experience of being able to think different. You may fail, you may succeed. But you never stop trying.

These little things instill in me an inspiration. An inspiration, to inspire and get inspired. And in the end, as long as such little things happen, I don’t think I’ll need to look for inspiration elsewhere. It’ll be there right inside me.

Peace.

F*** Your New Year Resolutions. Have Something Better For 2014!

January 5, 2014 by vijayspaul·10 Comments

Well, first blog post for 2014. Took me just 5 days. Better than last year I suppose where I took almost 18 days to come up with the first one. New year resolution you ask? Bollocks I say.

It’s just the 5th of Jan and I already must have read about 20 Facebook updates and a kazillion tweets about people ranting or publicizing about their new year resolutions. PEOPLE! If those are seriously your New Year Resolutions, then keep it to yourself. Don’t go about publicizing them. You do it, good for you. You don’t do it, no one gives a rat’s eye.

Am not saying New Year Resolutions are bad. If you can take it and stick to them, awesome. But why in the world would you need a excuse to do something better and give it a name? What in the world were you doing the rest of the 364 days? Watching Twilight: Breaking Dawn in loop? Blech.

Does this mean that you get the idea of doing something better in the month of March and you make it the New Year Resolution for 2015? You wait until you can assign a tag to it? My condolences to your brain fella.

Ever since I can remember, I have never taken a single New Year Resolution. I rather decide upon goals. They have much more clarity and unlike New Year Resolutions, don’t need the 1st of January to initiate. Decide and then let your actions steer your path ahead.

Secondly, Resolutions are more about “if’s”. If I become slimmer, I’ll get a girlfriend. If I write a blog post everyday, I’ll become famous. Let’s be truthful to ourselves here. Resolutions are based more upon what others expect from us. Not what you really want to do. Because if you did, then you would have started it off on June 30th itself without having waited for another half a year.

As the year goes ahead, keep your goals on the forefront, not your resolutions. Goals are always about today. It’s about what you do each day that would help you attain your goals with furthermore clarity and lucidity. On the other hand, resolutions are too vague. Lack clarity and purpose. If you haven’t done much with your resolutions in the initial few months, you always have the next 1st of Jan to bear the pressure again. And the next.

So f*** it! F*** your New Year Resolutions goodbye. Instead focus on your goals. Quit bouncing around and wallow in the immoderate hollow of your New Year Resolutions. This way, next year you wouldn’t need another list of Resolutions. You’ll just need stronger and more powerful goals. You’ll be able to look back and bask in the glory of having attained something better than petty resolutions. You’d have bettered yourself. And in the end, that’s the only Midas touch you’ll ever need.

Rock the year ahead mate.

P.S. My New Year Resolution? This! 😛