HAPPY MINION

The Social Unsocial Experiment is over and boy do I have lot many things to share.

The Social Unsocial Experiment pIC

The past 21 days without Facebook have been bliss. Except the first day, when I had this urge of logging into FB, the feeling died down soon.

And that’s when all the good things started happening. Directly or indirectly. Maybe or may not be due to the “experiment”, following things happened for the good –Continue reading

confused baby meme dafuq

My heartfelt condolences to all guys who went out Valentine Shopping this week. Congrats mate! 79.56% of you spent your/your parents money on someone you wouldn’t even be in contact with, this time next year.

The single people – Congrats to you too! You’ll be spending this day, like the same way you do the rest of the year – with peace of mind.

The “recently single people” – Booze up man. You should be freaking celebrating! Start singing “Roses are red, Violets are blue. I am so happy, since I got rid of you”.

Married martyrs – Amen.

 

So, it’s that day of the year again when the environment has an overdose of roses, greeting cards, teddy bears, chocolates and beer. The last one, purely for the unbound ones.

I tried my best smelling the air around, but other than the wonderful smell Kochi Corporation had to offer, I couldn’t find the so called “Love-in-the-air”. Maybe it has something to do with the cold I had last month.

Valentine’s Day, similar to Akshaya Tritiya, am sure has been brought up by marketers to increase sales. It’s a marketing gimmick and everyone’s fallen into it. Chocolates and roses have turned out to be the Holy Grail thanks to these businessmen.

Since I have no night calls to attend to and no 50-word-a-minute responses to give back on Whatsapp, I took my time analyzing the details on why Valentines Day actually sucks.

Here are the top 10 reasons –

 

1. The one sided pressure on the guys is huge

Ever seen a girl losing her peace of mind and pulling her hair out, thinking what to gift her BF for Valentine? No? Neither has anyone. It’s always the guys who have the herculean task of making sure they can read the mind of their GF and come up with the right ingredient of gifts to give her on this fateful day. And no matter what, they can never get it right. All the permutations and combinations never seem to work out in this case.

 

2. Beggar Mode – Starts on Feb 15

With all their year’s savings spent on the gigantic Teddy she so wanted, along with the tasteless candlelit dinner in the 4 star hotel, the guys literally hit the roads from Feb 15th. The next few weeks are spent thriving on water and on interest free loan from their single friends, who all of a sudden look like millionaires.

 

3. No one even has a clue why we celebrate Valentine’s Day

You give me any other day of the year and I’ll give you a reason why it’s celebrated. But Valentine’s Day? What did Saint Valentine do? What about it being the anniversary of a massacre? I presume even Lord Almighty wouldn’t be able to answer this one correctly.

 

 

confused baby meme dafuq
 

4. All those idiotic Social Media contests

Blech. Don’t even get me started on this. From E-Commerce websites to Mobile Operators to Banks, everyone starts off with their useless hashtag and starts spamming the timelines of anyone and everyone. And when you have had enough of it on Twitter, turn to Facebook and you see zillions of Ads and sponsored posts on “Gift your Valentine this…. Gift your Valentine that..”. And if its not gifting, it’ll be “Post your pic with your Valentine” contest.

No…. Please no. Not anymore of those duck faces again.

 

bin laden bombing people meme
 

 

5. It’s as if being single is a crime

I don’t have Jesus hanging out with me on Christmas, or Gandhiji playing snooker with me on Oct 2nd. Neither do I have children on Children’s Day. Then what kind of freaking logic is it that I should have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day?

And if all the single guys decide to hang out together, immediately you’re labelled a loser. Plus, having to suffer seeing the couples snuggle in the Movie Theaters and roam the Malls, tagging along each other as if its Kumbh Mela and they’ll get lost.

 

6. Your Exes are already committed. And so is your best friend.

Oh man. This has been voted as the number 1 and number 2 reason, respectively, for cause of depression among single guys on Feb 14th.

While on one side you’d be celebrating freedom, through the corner of your eye you’ll see your Ex laughing away with someone else. Back rushes all the history and flashbacks with a slow violin playing in the background. And whilst the new hero feeds her a spoonful of chocolate Ice Cream, you start cursing the guy on how less good looking he is than you. But, he has scored the goal, while you’re out of the match with a red card.

If you happen to be the rare one with all his friends committed, just sleep over the day. Sleep until the day passes. Imagine this day never happened.

Atleast its a better scenario than your best friend hanging out with your Ex!

 

girlfriend quote
 

 

7. You can’t even watch TV

This part I truly hate. No matter which channel you tune on this day, all it’ll have is red hearts and romantic songs. Forget entertainment channels. News Channels would be airing interviews with couples, while sports channels would be running between the wickets to get Sachin’s wife to elaborate on their love story. At times like these, only Cartoon Network doesn’t disappoint.

 

8. Listening to your friend’s Valentines Day antics

As if not being able to watch TV wasn’t bad enough, late evening your friend drops in with a 110W smile on his face. Then whole night you have to listen to his story of how he poured two sachets of sugar into her cup of coffee and how she rotated the spoon in a clockwise manner and how he found the scenario to be very romantic. And while you muster up all the courage to control the feelings of strangling him because he’s paying the room rent each month, for the sake of friendship you sit and listen to the whole story.

And people still think Valentines Day is more important than Friendship Day. Hhmph.

 

MINION FRIENDSHIP
 

 

9. Cupid is a stupid mascot

A man baby in a diaper with bows and arrows? From which angle does it invoke feelings of romance or love? Creepy is the word if you ask me.

 

10. It renders the other 364 days useless

Even if a guy gifts a girl 728 gifts across the year and says he loves her a kazillion times, but he doesn’t do this on Feb 14th no matter what the reason, its a crime. Atleast that’s what he’s made to feel.

At that particular moment of time, Lakshmi turns to Durga and it’s a confirmed case of painful death for the guy. God bless his soul.

 

People, don’t get me wrong with this post. I seriously do not mean to hurt the sentiments of any guy/girl with this. Your partner is doing a good enough job of it already!

 

– Vijay S Paul

 

Image Courtesy - memegenerator.net, frabz.com, whicdn.com, twimg.com

 

Cristiano Ronaldo Website Viva Ronaldo 2

For some people 67 Million Followers on Facebook and 23 Million on Twitter just doesn’t do it enough it seems. They then go about building their own Social Network!

Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro, or as humans call him – Cristiano Ronaldo, the Portuguese and Real Madrid Footballer, has hit another goal. Not on the field this time, but rather on the internet – He has launched his very own Social Networking site.

Cristiano Ronaldo Website Viva Ronaldo

 

As W-T-F it sounds, its true. VivaRonaldo.com, is all about exclusive CR7 content, games, prizes and even a chance to meet “the man” himself. Not just launched as a campaign but rather as a Social Networking site in itself, this sure doesn’t seem a short-term hype from his PR Team. The way it has been projected and how they plan to take it forward, sure does look like its a long term deal.

 

Cristiano Ronaldo Website Viva Ronaldo 2

 

From Pre-match bets to Trivia to Live Fan Chatter when the game is on, the “Content Strategy” revolves all around Cristiano, building upon the fact that he has a sort of cult fan following. Fans can login via Facebook and stay up-to-date with the activities of their friends in this community.

 

Cristiano Ronaldo Website Viva Ronaldo 3

 

The Official Online Platofrm is developed by Viva Superstars, a joint-venture co-founded by Cristiano Ronaldo, Polaris Sports and a Portuguese-Dutch startup named bViva. They have developed this as a proprietary real-time match following platform – Live Match 4G – that allows fans in different countries and television streams to play and interact during live events.

Politicians Targeting Wrong Audience Facepalm

The news of some IT firms using unethical means to gain likes for the Facebook Page of politicians and defaming opposition politicians has been in the news for quite some time. This just came to show that it’s all a game of numbers. None of these people give a rat’s eye about actually interacting with the public or utilizing Social Media for the actual reason it is to be used. You give them anything and they’ll destroy it. First the country and now Social Media Channels.

While these news were doing the rounds couple of days back, I found something quite interesting on Facebook. Now, let me remind you, being a Social Media Marketer, I pay lot of attention to the Ads I see on Facebook and Google and anywhere on the internet real estate. So obviously, it came as pretty amusing when I saw an Ad about Congress Party written in Mizo, showing up beside my timeline.

 

Facebook Screenshot Congress Ad

 

I never give the slightest attention to political ads. To me, they’re as full of crap as the politicians or political parties they’re sponsored by. But seeing a political ad in a language I can’t decipher was way outta my league. As I clicked on the Ad, I was taken to the following website of “Mizoram Pradesh Congress Committee”.

 

Mizoram Congress Website

 

Now, I have no idea what was written and neither do I have a good sixth sense. But all my other senses tell me it has to do something with me voting for them. Sure Congress. I’ll do. Once you explain to me how a guy from Kerala can vote in Mizoram. Burn!

Now that I see some of the BJP lovers laughing out loud on me making fun of Congress, wait buddies. The show’s not over.

The next day, as I was just about to shut down my laptop at night, the following ad jumped up on my timeline.

 

BJP Facebook Ad Screenshot

 

I don’t have the slightest idea who this guy is or what is he doing on my timeline. The ad tells me he’s a MLA from Gujarat. Again, they aren’t trying to increase my general knowledge am sure. Nor do they love so much that they badly want me to see what some local MLA does in Gujarat.

I find it pretty insulting when these people ridicule Social Media in such a manner and consider the public to be fools. Having run Facebook Ads myself a good number of times, I know that it’s not very hard to target your audience based on their location. But when a party from Mizoram and a politician from Gujarat come up on my timeline, I get really really skeptical about how these politicians and political parties plan to use Social Media.

 

Politicians Targeting Wrong Audience Facepalm

 

All said, am pretty sure about one thing. As long as such people and such parties are in existence, I’ll always get one or the other point like this to write a blog post on.

God bless social media. And my patience.

 

Image Courtesy: ramp.ie

Shirt Ironed. Check.

Shoe Polished. Check.

Hair neatly trimmed. Check.

Looking Smart. Always!

 

D-Day. My first official interview. And I wasn’t scared at all. Petrified would be the more suitable word.

So, with the interview scheduled at 1115 Hrs, I decided to get ready as soon as possible. BANG! Guests drop in. And then the usual procedure – Hai… Yes, Doing good…. No, not jobless… No, not planning to get married anytime soon…. Yes, will be going for higher studies… blah blah..

I keep staring at mom and the clock and then the guests.

9:45 – Having Tea

10:00 – Still having tea

10:15 – Breakfast

10:29 – Screw everyone. Am leaving.

And thus, well dressed, clean shaven minus a bulgan, shiny shoes and headsets on as usual, I cycle off to the destination. As I cycle, my mind races. What questions will be there in the interview? Will everything go fine? What if I screw up? Will the cycle as a means of travel be a negative? Should I speak in Malayalam or English? Did I brush well in the morning? Did I…… Darn!! Forgot the “AXE Effect”. Forgot to spray 😐

Other than a couple of gazillion eyes staring at this mad guy on a cycle and the police trying to figure out whether I was over the speed limit or not, everything went pretty normal. Oh, and there was the one ecstatic moment when I overtook a BMW #FeltLikeABoss

Did I mention the BMW was being towed away?

So, there I was at the destination. 1100Hrs. Phew, not late. Thank You Kochi City Traffic Police for keeping all the lights green.

As I entered the office and sat down below the fan, I realized I was sweating. So much with the looking good and all. Luckily, by 1115Hrs I was back to my usual look-good-no-matter-what self.

And then, just as clock struck quarter past eleven, a knock on the door.

Guy – “Sir, May I come in?”

Me – “Yes, please.”

Guy – “Good Morning Sir, you had asked me to come for an interview.”

Me – “Yes. Please take a seat.”

And thus began the first interview for interns at my firm. I didn’t know who was more nervous. Me or him. But luckily, I did well if I may say so. 🙂 . #ReallyFeltLikeABoss

What a Day!

Image Courtesy: PaulMillan.ie